Delighting in our insufficiencies

As believers, I can imagine nothing other than expressions of gratitude
pouring from our lips when we first see Jesus in heaven.

Sometimes I think
that our gratitude will be because we will see the splendor of heaven and
are so thankful that God made a way for us to be there. Yet, I think what
will stir us even more in not seeing heaven, but seeing Jesus. Stop reading
for a moment and consider what it would be like for you to first lay eyes on
Him. I am convinced that in that moment, unless God holds us up and
strengthens our minds, we will not be able to endure looking upon our
Savior. It seems to me that everything from God’s word will come crashing in
at that time. His glory, His power, our sins, the cross, our forgiveness,
truth, love, His holiness, eternal life, seeing the throngs of redeemed
people and on and on.

I also believe that when I see Jesus I will want to say to Him, “Thank you
for upholding me on earth. Thank you for being the author and perfecter of
my faith. Thank you for sending The Holy Spirit, without whom I could not
have stood one second for you.” You see, I have become increasingly
convinced of something in the last few years. That I should be praising God
that He has not left my faith in the hands of my thinking and my emotions.
If he had, I would be a spiritual mess. How do I know? Because while
sometimes my thinking and my emotions are my ally in my walk of faith, many
other times they betray me. I feel my spiritual feet going out from under
me. I look in at myself and panic at the unsteadiness that surrounds my
faith and wonder how I am even still standing in Him. Yet, this is really
the point of my writing today and why God will always get all the glory that
I can give. It Is He who upholds me. It is His word that strengthens me. I
can literally be having a day of emaciated faith and feel like I am
unraveling and I can take His word into my hands and start reading it and I
feel my whole self calm down as if He is bathing me in peace. I can be
feeling the weight of temptation and I can grab hold of His word and feel
like my legs have turned from rubber to steel. I can drag myself to His word
with the burden of doubts weighing upon my back, with my torso an inch off
the floor, and I can read His word and feel completely stabilized and filled
with faith.

What has happened in these instances? What have I brought into the mix that
has so significantly changed things? The answer that I am convinced of? I
have brought nothing. You see, whether I am feeling strong or weak, for
decades now I know that God has been upholding me in my faith. It is what He
does for believers. As I look back, I see Him in everything. In every
opportunity that I have had to serve Him, He has created it and upheld me.
In every class I have ever taught, He has made me a teacher and taught me
how to teach. In the hundreds of blogs I have written, He has worked in me
and finished the work. I look back on my years in Christ and see what He has
done through me and am left with nothing but wonder. How Lord? Why Lord?
Look who I was Lord! Look who I am Lord! How did any of this get done? And
of course I know. It was God bringing glory to Himself through me. He opened
my heart to His truth. He prepared works for me to do. He equipped me. He
has done it! What can I boast about?

I will always have faith in Jesus and He will carry me home, not because of
what is in me, but because of Who is in me. I have seen the offerings of my
emotions and thinking on many of the days I have lived and they would not
uphold me for a minute. Perhaps you are somewhat surprised by what I am
saying. “But Rob, you are an Elder. But Rob, you are a teacher. But Rob you
regularly lead our church in prayer. But Rob, you have preached the word to
us and yet you sound so weak sometimes” Yes, I have done all those things
and when I look at every minute of them I only see Christ. Do I look strong
in my faith to you? It is because I am, but it is not of myself. It is God
who gives me this strength. What have I learned from all this? Pray, pray
and pray. He has all that I need and is willing to give it. I am dependent
on Him and must hunger for His offerings because without them I will starve
and crumble.

May God continue to receive all the glory from my life.

“9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made
perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my
weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for
Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in
persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”  2
Corinthians 12: 9-11

For Him,

Rob

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