A friend of mine once backed his car over his son’s bicycle. When the boy protested, “But Dad, it was an accident!” my friend retorted, “No, accidents are unpredictable. When you leave something in the driveway, it’s very predictable that a car will run over it. You knew exactly where and when the car would back out of the garage.”
That is a helpful principle which applies to many things. But we so often view life as a series of random events, forgetting the cause-effect nature of things baked into life, including our relationships.
Liars lie. Addicts use substances. Procrastinators put things off. Lazy people dodge work. So, when we trust any of these people to act differently, whose fault is it when “accidents happen”? We should have seen it coming, but chose to ignore it, hoping against hope for change.
This is how Solomon reasons in the Proverbs. He warns against trusting fools because, well, they do foolish things, and in fact, continue to do them. And when we do trust them, we should not be surprised that we are pulled into the folly, for in a sense, we had it coming:
“Like cutting off one’s feet or drinking violence is the
sending of a message by the hand of a fool.” Proverbs 26:6
“Like an archer who wounds at random
is he who hires a fool. . .” Proverbs 26:10
“Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult
whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse.” Proverbs 9:7
“Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife;
quarrels and insults are ended.” Proverbs 22:10
So life is not so random after all. In fact, fools can be counted on to continue in their folly (Proverbs 27:22): “Though you grind a fool in a mortar, grinding him like grain with a pestle, you will not remove his folly from him.” We often try to help untrustworthy people by trusting them, but that is not a wise thing to do.
But is there no hope? Of course there is. “At one time we too were foolish, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures” (Titus 3:3). People can and do change when the grace of the gospel enters their lives (Titus 3:4-6).
But by then, you will have seen the effects of wisdom taking root, and when that happens you will know it. Until then, wait for proof of life change, lest you become the fool.
“Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you;
rebuke a wise man and he will love you.” Proverbs 9:8