My parents were good and godly people and I was blessed growing up in the home they made for us. But one of the lessons I learned was one I have had to modify over the years. Dad and Mom were all about fairness, and to me, that meant treating everyone the same.
Applying that principle was fraught with difficulty. Everyone did not want to be my friend or join my club, and everyone did not want the same kind of relationship with me as I wanted with them.
And then there were the trouble-makers, whose lives were on a different trajectory altogether. What about them? Why did my confidence in them not “turn them around,” and why could I not, by treating them well and fairly, draw them to Jesus?
Somewhere along the way I discovered the book of Proverbs, and was set free of my childish interpretation of fairness. The reality is that there are some people to avoid. Some are incorrigible, and others will say something good to your face, only to betray you.
Take a quick read through this amazing book and just list the cast of characters. The wise man, the sloth, the fool, the scoffer, the seductress, the liar, the hypocrite, the naive. Here we are told that we must not and can not deal identically with each of these.
Proverbs tells us that some will never listen while some are eager to do so. Some are reasonable while others are not. It is here where we can find an answer to my original dilemma. Jesus Himself did not deal with each person or group in the same way. Matthew 15:12-14
The key, of course, lies in wisdom. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to the people in your life. We discover, over time, how to respond in godly ways to various kinds of people, especially those who are different and see thing differently. They have different agendas.
“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:5, 6
We can learn, on the one hand, to approach people gently and teach them lovingly and hopefully (2 Timothy 2:23-26). On the other hand, there are times when we must walk away (Titus 3:9-11).
“Father help us know well how to give an answer to every person, with grace, leaving judgment in all things to you. In the name of Jesus. Amen.